I lived my dream

I lived my dream…

Yes, really I lived my dream with my latest expedition to Valley of Flowers. It is very rare that we actually know what our dream is and work towards fulfilling it and then live it to experience the magic. I did that…and believe me when I say it was such an enriching and fulfilling experience to date.

I had this dream when I had just got my first job. I had money and time but no freedom. The only way I could see the world was through my beloved books. And then I read this book on Living with Himalayan Masters by Swami Rama. There was a description of Valley of Flowers and from then I had this secret wish and dream of being there and experiencing the joy of the smell, sight and experience the divine there. My dream had no form or plan, I did not know where it was, how to go, how much would it cost, would I be allowed. But I just stored it in my bucket list of things I will have to experience before I lose my sense.

Constantly I used to tell my dear friend of wanting to go there and my friend A said she too wanted to come. And from then on, I kept telling anyone who would want to hear in my family that A and me are going to Valley of Flowers. And then S, another friend joined after couple of years of this chant and then really we started noticing how to get there, how much does it cost, when do we go there. Once all these were planned and sorted out, it stuck me this is no joke. It needs me to be fit to do the trekking to climb the mountain to see the place. Lot of motivation and inspiration to walk and trek ad mists my myriad priorities that I have raked up for myself. I still knew I was no where fit enough to get there but my desire to see the place was greater push than I thought.

The day arrived and we made it to the base camp of Govindghat. We had a 10km trek to Ghangharia from where we had to trek to the valley of flowers  the next day. The earlier night was rife with adventure and late night but we were all ready for our trek to our next base. A and me were in full excitement and energy. We were singing all through the way. There were so many people en-route who stopped to listen to us, especially my bubbly friend A’s songs.

We somehow made it to the town of Ghangria by 6pm that day and the trek itself was tiring as it was raining incessantly, and we are fully soaked through with our small backpack and other things we were carrying. By the time we retired into our rooms, my only thought was how was I going to trek the next day to Valley of Flowers. I was totally exhausted, cold and aching all over. But still I kept repeating to myself, tomorrow my dream is going to come true. I will keep thinking of those blue, pink and white flowers all the fellow trekkers who had already been there kept telling us on the way. I slept thinking of only flowers and praying god to give me the strength to go on for next day’s trek.

The next day dawned, I woke up with a fear in the pit of my stomach, both for the trek as well as the doubt of what if the valley was not as I had dreamed of for the past 18 years. And then we started climbing. I have not seen so much traffic even in Bangalore. It’s a one way path and there were so many people trekking that there was absolutely no place to stop and rest. I had to take a breather break every 10 steps and I had to literally stand stuck to the mountain to give way to the other folks. The route to the valley of flowers was picturesque and so bright and positive that there was no way one would feel tired. It was like nature telling just someway up to see me at the very best. Somehow I reached the mouth of the valley where I could see loads of people taking pictures with the flowers. There was small wooden bridge dividing the valley of flowers and the mountain from which we were coming. There was a big stream flowing. From that vantage, I could really smell the fragrance of all the flowers. It was ethereal and was like in the book where Rama would lose his mind with just the fragrance from the VoF.

The perfume was not so strong, guess there were too many people about. But I smelled it. I was thrilled to pieces about it. I entered as my friend put it into the bouquet of flowers. All sides were  filled with pink and white flowers. It was so magical. A little pathway into it goes inside the valley to about 12 km inside.

But I was so tired and thrilled to have reached the tip that I felt all the bliss right there, right then. After assuaging my hunger pangs with whatever people handed over to me, I was ready to explore. My friend A went ahead to see water falls and I was left trailing behind. I took my time with each and every flower I met on the way and let the breeze flow through to me. I could hear myself singing yei kaha a gaye hum yoon sath sath chalke…It was so beautiful…The weather was so good at that time. I could see some blue flowers as well.

Our trek guide was telling us that this valley was also called Kaanan Van. And in my minds eye I could see little blue Krishna playing with Radha and other Gopis in between so many flowers. All those ISKON Krishna pictures came into my mind.

And then came the thought Lady, you have to go down still. Don’t you think you make the start otherwise you will be left behind. But then I don’t have to feel bad that I am delaying anyone as I can go down at my pace to reach the rooms at Ghangria.

But the trek down was one of the most difficult and painful time I had in the whole trip. I was already tired making the trip uphill and too much air and fanciful thinking had made me already light headed. I was swaying so much for each step I was keeping to get down. I don’t remember the pain or exhaustion now, but what I remember is I could not keep my balance. All the time I felt I was swaying and had no sense of balance. My friend A kept pace with me and her beautiful smile welcoming me every 10 steps got me going. In all the time, I remember I never prayed to all my gods..I had no thought in my brain, just climbing down and seeing As face. If she had gone lot further, I was going faster in search of her. The last few km, I could not find her. I felt alone and desolate. But then I saw her and another of my new friend waiting for me near the base of the mountain from where our rooms to Ghargria was another 1 km. I was so blessed and happy to see these two waiting for me. All is well in my world. I was not alone. I did it. I could share the nature with these two at that time. It was such a blessing!!

 

I LIVED AND EXPERIENCED MY DREAM!!

I am very much India's Daughter

Last week was a whirlwind of emotions to deal with. The country I grew up in, of which I am so proud of, Of the stories I am in love with, of the mythology I narrate to my son about and for the love of which I left US of A world ...is suddenly ALSO filled with such ugly minded people who have the nerve to tell that It happened so that the victim and her friend could be taught a lesson and that they would not hesitate to do so again if they find a girl who is out after 7 without her relatives about.

And hearing educated lawyers supporting them and appealing to higher court to relook at the decision handed over to the rapist has shocked me very much. In the ensuing week listening and reading much more of this has brought one thing to light..Whatever said and done there are some sections of people who very much believe that women can be raped if they are alone or if they brave to go out on their own. Somewhere handing out such justice to women makes them feel good and powerful. I would not say that its the mindset of Men only..its because of some of our women who support this.

Ok, these are brutes..killing them on spot, incapacitating them and mortally wounding them would suffice? Infact, when I read the interview of the rapist first last week, my first reaction was blood boiling intensity to kill him, to chop him to pieces..it was instantaneous but I was not appeased..Killing him does not give me the satisfaction. How many people can we kill?

Then my good friend told me its to do with education, upbringing etc..I agree to all those but still just punishing the guy alone does not suffice....I am not appeased. The lawyer was educated, it  did not change is thought process. Its deep rooted than this..Its the mindset. Mindset of what though? Mindset to allow women freedom? Allow women to go out after 7? What mindset should change?

I think what should change is the acceptance that Women can be better than Men and there is nothing wrong in saying it out aloud and believing in it. I am not saying always they are right or better..but when they are, everyone should acknowledge that and motivate them including other women. That would be the first step in changing the mindset of the nation.

So how would this change the rapist mindset..?? My perspective is that if he sees the women around him all strong and confident, unless he is sick he should not have the need to overpower them or teach them a lesson. They should be his equal and it should become the norm to work/lead life along with them rather than work for him or be lead by him.


Often when I meet successful women, my first thought was always( am ashamed of it), she must be having really great husband who supports this or her parents are liberal. What about the effort she herself puts to get there?? - That should change..

Right from childhood, girls are taught to put other's need before theirs, in some cases, their needs come after their brother's..That should change..Both daughter and son are equal..infact these days the daughters take good care of their parents than the son. ..Do the parents acknowledge that? 

We women have to stick together before looking at the men at large to change..Change needs to happen from within our women folks to embrace and anchor other women to come up in life..

And Yes we need to have stringent punishment meted out to rapists to put the fear of life on others who are even thinking of committing this crime..!!

And Yes we also need world peace!!
 

And the master of negotiations arrives -

My six year old who is off today as he is recuperating from fever over the weekend, calls me at work.

Me- "Hello"
Sonny Boy - "Amma, I searched everywhere I could not find anywhere, and I really want to tell you something..See what happened
Me - "What did you search for sweetheart?"
S - "Amma that shining blue pen, Amma let me tell you what happened, I was in the room writing with it and the cap fell down and then the pen, after that I was not able to find anywhere I have searched all the rooms?
Me - Amma will search when I come home Pattu..
S - Amma but I already searched everywhere..its not be to found
Me - So what do you want Amma to do..
S - (Could hear shuffling and stalling)..Amma get another pen please please please..
Me - (Not able to control my laughter)..Lets see..Amma is busy ..when I come home will search together and then get another one if needed.

S reluctantly keeps the phone..

I am amazed at his tactic to slowly drive his point.

My Son - My Sun

Guess this is my first blog after becoming a mother..My son is 5yrs old..the most happening thing in my life..My Sun around which my life revolves and rotates...His happiness, his tantrums, his new discovery, his passions, his small talks are the highlights of the day..

I guess it is true for any parent...though in my case, I feel every moment is so magnified and enriched due to his presence. Its like you are learning life all over again through his innocent eyes and perception..

For eg: There is a picnic scheduled from his school for 18th of Dec. He is so happy about it that has been telling this to anyone who is willing to listen. All the work gets done from him by just telling him..who wants to go picnic..The enthu about going for a picnic is infectious..I am sure he does not know what picnic is..but its something everyone at school is excited about and so is he.

Its making the child in me..which is most part of me..very excited.I am looking forward for his trip. It has been the same case when he went for fancy dress competition or singing competition..My son is a happy go lucky kiddo..he doesnt know the meaning of competition until it is spelled out to him. But we do not want him to start racing just yet so we are just letting him be.

Just the other day, since he did not have an afternoon nap, he just got exhausted and slept by7PM. The whole family was bereft of activity or noise. We were looking at each others face missing something not sure what to do next. Its so difficult to communicate with the others in the family without the common bonding body not jumping amidst you.

Such is the power of the Sun - My Son.

The Phoenix is here

Hey Myself....

Its been almost 4 years since I posted here...and today I tell someone "You know I write too.." and gave him this link...and I too and go and see that last I have written is sometime 4 yrs back...and you know what...No one missed me other than myself..All my cooped up thoughts and those fantastic stories have died..thats what has happened..

Anyway as the Phoenix raising from the ashes...am back..not sure with a big bang..reminded of Newtons First Law...Inertia...

Lets keep the fingers crossed...

Ciao for now...

What does my Birthday mean??

Your Birthdate: January 15

You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things. You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle. Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home. You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak. Your strength: Your intense optimism Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents Your power color: Jade Your power symbol: Flower Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

How Stupid I am ...!!!